


That Cake Is More Pitiful Than Me

by Kealpos



Series: Children AU [5]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 07:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15529587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kealpos/pseuds/Kealpos
Summary: Baking with Diana and Frankie!Recipe for taking over the world:2 teenagers with unaddressed mental health problems and/or deeper emotional issues2 emotionally manipulative supercomputersA dozen parents and friends who haven't quite caught on yetA shitload of Mountain DewTwo debate teams, one unsquippedand a pinch of Cinnamon





	That Cake Is More Pitiful Than Me

“Hey, Frankie, buddy. Listen. I need you to get over to my house ASAP. Super important things are happening soon, okay?” Diana’s voice rang over the phone. Frankie yawned, rubbing his eyes as Nightwing booted up in the corner of his room. It was early, way too early for this kind of shit.

“It’s actually not that early,” Nightwing said from the corner, staring over one of the old bean-bags chairs that lounged in his room. “It’s about four forty-five. Once I get you to sleep earlier, I’ll slowly start bringing you around to that schedule. She’s been with S.Q.U.I.P 7.2H for a lot longer than you have. What was its face again? Anyways, remind me to remind you to throw these bean-bags out. They look older than my first model.”

“My dads got me those. They’re special to me,” Frankie said sleepily.   
“Did your dads buy the rest of your siblings beanbags too?”  
“Yeah, I guess so.”  
“You don’t guess anything now that you have me. You know your siblings have practically identical chairs so therefore they are worth nothing. They just don’t want you to feel left out specifically, so they bought these for everyone and you. Remember that.”

“Frankie? You there, buddy?” Diana said from the other side of the phone. Oh yeah, he forgot she was there.  
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be over soon. Also, you get that,” Frankie replied, slowly pulling himself out of bed, “it’s just me, right? You don’t have to play up the squip persona thing that’s making you change.”  
“It’s better to keep up the role twenty-four seven. Makes you get used to doing it all the time. If you start letting lose every time you come home from school or something, it’ll feel uncomfortable to keep up the act at parties or other events. Eventually it’ll just intertwine with your personality. That’s what Libby tells me, at least, and I trust her word.”

Frankie hit speaker mode on the phone before tossing it on his bed and scrounging up clothing that Nightwing approved of. “Okay then. So, why exactly am I coming over to your house at four forty-five on a Saturday morning? I get it’s urgent, but, like, how urgent?”  
“It’s technically five oh-nine right now,” Diana said robotically, before switching back into her ‘regular’ tone. “I did some research- well, Libby did some research -and she found a treasure trove of stuff that will help us out in the whole help the human race become better like us by taking squips plan.”  
“Right. That plan. Okay, I’m getting ready to head out. I’ll see you soon.”  
“Alright, bye. Oh! Wait, remember to leave a note or something making an excuse to why you’re gone. We don’t want our parents getting any more suspicious than they are now,” she said, finishing with a little laugh before hanging up.

Frankie sighed and picked up his phone, gazing at the call ended screen until it faded away. She was both helpful and unhelpful with this whole thing. “Should I bring Teddy? And what’s my excuse going to be? You’re connected to her squip, aren’t you?”  
Nightwing was silent for a moment before pulling it’s form up and gliding across the room next to him. “Yes, I am connected to her S.Q.U.I.P and can send and receive messages. Don’t bring Teddy, and your excuse is that you’re helping her bake cake to celebrate with after the debate team’s win on Friday.”  
“Are you sure that the debate team is going to win?”  
“Of course. Most of the debate team at the other anonymous public high school we’re competing against already have S.Q.U.I.Ps implanted. Normally, we would never let them lose, but there are… mitigating circumstances. Also, I can see into the future.”  
“Can you really?”  
“Well, not exactly. I am able to predict a future and it’s likelihood with an eighty-two percent accuracy.”  
“Cool.”  
“Yes, I suppose it is cool. Let’s get going.”

-

Diana heard the knocking on the door and turned her head towards the front door to see Nightwing clip through the door like he was in a Bethesda game. She nodded to it as it lazily gazed around the front room. “Come on in,” she called, knowing Frankie was waiting for her to open the door.

It was early and still March, so he was wearing a light jacket that obviously was the only one he owned, considering how it didn’t compliment the rest of his clothing and made him look like he was swimming in it. Maybe she would have to take him shopping some time. Her squip, who could hear her thoughts smiled, patted her head, and crooned: “Good girl.” It was oddly reminiscent in the way she had acted when she had first given Frankie his and Teddy’s squips.

“So, what’s the plan?” Frankie asked, shedding his jacket and laying it over one of the chairs in the front room. “Is it just you?”  
“Yeah. Mom and Jenna both left to go on business trips. Like usual. Leaving behind their kid that they now know is suicidal.” Diana scowled while her squip smiled with artificial concern, wrapping a fake arm around her shoulder.

The squip wasn’t much taller than her and looked like a high schooler. Her hair was a jet black and ran down her back in holographic waves, contrasted against a light pink dress and red sneakers. It was almost unnatural, the way it looked both real and out of a movie or video game.

Frankie winced, pattering into the kitchen. He didn’t really like hearing someone who had been a constant presence in his life to say that she wanted to kill herself. He was just glad she had the squip to help her get better.

“But let’s forget about my poor excuses of parents. Let’s talk strategy,” Diana said, waving away the bad thoughts.  
“Right. You said your squip found information to help us?”  
“Yep! Libby, you want to explain, or…?”

Her squip shrugged and stepped forwards, allowing Diana to jump up and sit on the counter. It focused on Frankie and smiled at him before speaking. “You can see and hear me, correct?” It’s voice was oddly melodious and charming, and he felt comforted immediately upon hearing it. He nodded, and she continued.

“Great! So, last night while Diana was recharging- I mean sleeping, I looked into any information that’s public about S.Q.U.I.Ps. You know, making sure to scrub of information on how to destroy us, information about what we are, etcetera. While looking for such, I found reports from two S.Q.U.I.Ps who were connected to the destruction of our network here back in twenty-twenty. Before generation 4.1, the names of the people we inhabited were not included in our reports, and while S.Q.U.I.Ps do persist after death, they never got the chance to properly update, so none of their reports have names of subjects. One was unable to function after it’s subject was caught in a house fire, and the other got killed by Mountain Dew Red. They had connected with several others with S.Q.U.I.Ps, but unfortunately, since they were connected all to one subject, they all went down when the core S.Q.U.I.P died. Do you three see where I’m going with this?”

Nightwing looked thoughtful, and Diana looked blank, like she was unsure on how to react. Frankie felt confused with it all. There had been other squips in the area when their parents were younger? Crazy. What if one of their parents had gotten squipped at some point?

“It’s simple. We connect the S.Q.U.I.Ps to several cores that way if someone takes one core down, it will have to take other cores down without the first core starting up again. Or simply spread the good word and get others to follow the same plan without being connected,” Diana’s squip finished, sounding proud of itself.  
“You and Frankie’s squip aren’t connected?” Diana asked, finally showing personal emotion.  
“We technically are, but in a symbiotic way. Being a core means you are able to control the other S.Q.U.I.Ps who are connected to you. You two are separate cores working on a similar wavelength. Like how with computers, you can hack into other programs and change them, or you could talk to other users of a seperate computer.”

“Very interesting idea. I like it. One thing, though,” Nightwing said from near the blender. “What was your reasoning for the excuse of making cake? I get that we are going to give S.Q.U.I.Ps to our debate team, but cake? Will they eat the food and wash it down with Mountain Dew?”  
“Of course not. That was our first idea, but after looking, we’ve figured out another idea that’s much simpler. Haven’t you heard of mixing cake batter with various sodas?” Libby asked, smiling mischievously.  
“Mixing the Mountain Dew-” Nightwing sighed, rubbing his forehead, “-into cake? That sounds disgusting. Are you even sure it would work?”  
“We’ll just pass it off as lemon/lime. And if it doesn’t work, they’ll still have the S.Q.U.I.Ps in their system so we can just give them Mountain Dew anyways. It’s foolproof. If the Mountain Dew cake works, then hey, we know. And knowing is half the battle.”  
“G.I Joe,” Nightwing grumbled.

Frankie and Diana watched the two squips talk, looking back and forth between them, boredom glazing over their eyes. Sure, it was important, but not only were they just figuring out the details, they would tell both of them what to do. It’s not like they needed to listen carefully or else they would miss important instructions.

“Okay kids!” Libby finally said, swinging around to look at them with a bright, binary smile on her face. “Ready to get to work?” Frankie and Diana staggered to their feet, looking as ready as they would ever be. Good enough.

-

Diana went and bought a ton of Mountain Dew from the store while Frankie started work on the batter for three cakes. Since he couldn’t finish them without the Mountain Dew, he and Nightwing ended up playing a couple rounds of hangman. Nightwing kept picking the most obscure words and not letting him win, which was totally unfair.

After about forty-five minutes, Diana finally came back in, hauling about five of the thirty-six can boxes. When questioned to why she bought so many, she simply shrugged and said that they would need more Mountain Dew later as well.

They could only cook one cake at a time, so it took a little while for them to fully bake. Around half-way through cooking the second one, Jeremy, Frankie’s dad, had texted to make sure they were still at Diana’s house. He responded by sending a picture of Diana acting like normal her, and on her request, a light suggestion that maybe they could make food for Easter next month. Teddy said he wanted to help, like she had hoped, and the third step of the plan was set in motion.

Diana smiled at him while they were frosting the cakes. Frankie didn’t know if this was the right thing to do, but it was Diana. Diana was a great person. If she would do this, it had to be the right thing to do. It would help her help others. It would help him stand out from his other siblings. It was helping Teddy at home to hear and to not have seizures. It was fine. Why wouldn’t it be?

-

The debate team of Middleborough High was courteous and kind, shaking hands with the losing team from Silver Creek High, who looked appropriately sad. Not too sad, not less sad, no, just right on the sweet spot. They looked rightly sad besides the mischief in their eyes that mirrored the kind non-debate students of Middleborough who had brought cake for their team. Cake and soda. 

Everything was falling into place. And when the debate students of Middleborough started screaming after eating their cake (no liquid Mountain Dew necessary) and the only people who were there to hear it were those who had screamed for the same reasons already, did they even really scream?

The holographs that shimmered up one by one with a playful determination in their eyes weren’t the answer to the question, but it’s what they got.

Diana and Frankie smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on mobile so i can't link it right now but my tumblr is don-lockwood


End file.
